Knots: They suck

Man, i just hate knots. Well, "unknoting" is what I mean. For example, you take your iPod-earphones and put it in your backpack. A few hours later, you have the sudden urge to listen to Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On". You unzip it, gaze into the abyss, and then you slowly but your hands down there, touch something you want to touch, and forcefully pull it out. After you took your earphones you feel nuts, just because you have to unknot it. I hate it. I generally hate things that can't easily be opened. Pickle jars, spam tins or Pandora's box. We're in the year 2011. We shouldn't waste our time on opening hard-to-open objects. That's so last millenium.

What I also dislike is people that constantly have to tell how crappy the internetz and Web 2.0 is, how senseless Twitter is. Awkard that I always read how much the internet sucks....
....on the internet.

It's just smurfed up.

A Nerd's Guide to being popular with the Girls

You're friends kinda like you. They know you really dig reading mangas, spend hours after hours on Wikipedia, and recently just bought a limited-edition complete box-set of Star Trek DVDs. You have at least 30 Weezer songs on your newly-hacked iPod, you founded at least 20 Facebook groups (with the followers of your nerdy ilk, your clique of computerizers, being the only members), you just read TekWar (William Shatner's epic ghost-written sci-fi novel, for all you wanna-bes) for the 42th time (you giggled because you know it's the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything), and you try to rap along to Weird "Al" Yankovic's "White And Nerdy", always epicly failing whilst doing.

                                                           Let's hope your stuck in between.



Yeah. The dudes kinda appreciate you. You know you are different, unique, but still are appreciated by them. The girls, on the flip-side, can't stand you. The unpopular, straight-A-writing dork you are, you know you change this, using the mighty powerz of the internetz google soul-searching.


So, as smart as you are, you probably went to Lycos/ask.com/Yahoo/Bing/Google, eagerly wanting to pick up the chicks, impress that one sweet girl in your class, knowing that you will fight for her love, no matter what. Now, you are here.

                                                                  Girls. They rock.


First of all, master the art of having conversations with them gurls. 
I am talking about regular conversations, we'll talk about flirting later. Be nice, be approachable. Don't dumb it down, but try being not too untouchable in terms of intellect. Try to look in her eyes, smile. Yes, even we nerds look good, if we just smile. Make jokes. Not too many, so that you won't be labeled as a desperate sex-yearning clown.

Listen. Make sure the girl is feeling that she is talking to an actual human being, and not against the remainders of the Berlin Wall (golden-showered on by Soviet soldiers). Pay attention to what she says, and don't stare at them buubies. Actually, your best off if you just look into her eyes.

                                                               Ears. They're useful.

Respond. Think! It's something you are so good at. Just think! Think before you talk. Don't always talk about stuff you know, but know what you are talking about. Don't start babbling about nerdy topics, but rather subculture-neutral, mainstream, non-nerdy, girl-friendly things. So if you want to show off with having more gamer points than any other boy in your neighborhood, don't bother doing so.


Make eye contact. It's simple, but very crucial. Just don't stare, one moment or two should be enough. Smile while doing so.

Get closer. Don't be too intrusive, but slowly start climbing up your way. Say hi to her at school, smile to her. Start engaging in small-talk, try to have short conversations. Then, add her on an instant messager or Facebook, start talking online and in the real worldz. Slowly, you'll start to know her better. Be confident, build up your self-esteem, don't be too shy. Still stay true to you, stay beautiful, stay smart, stay witty. Don't be too foul-mouthed, too perverse, too weird. Make little compliments, about how her hair looks today or other things you noticed about her (she's smart, sweet etc.). 


Don't stop believing. It aint gonna work all of the time. There are 3.500.000.000 women on this pityful planet, so there's gotta be one or two girls that are gonna love you and appreciate you the way you are. Girls can be cruel, just as cruel as we boys can be. If you are in your teens, girls will be energetic, but confused, sweet but churning. They probably are as unexperienced as you are with the opposite gender. Even if not, don't stop trying. You are a human, no matter how outcast you may feel at times. To quote Bono of U2: We are one, but not the same.


Just enjoy life. Girls, yeah, they nice, but they come and go. Your nerdyness. It stays. But if you have this one girl, one out of a billion, then do the best you can. Love her as much as you can. Do everything for her.

Because nothing can be more rewarding than the genuine warmth of a woman's heart.

But you probably already read stuff like this at least a quadruple-billion times. If not, you'll find plenty of other sites covering these topics. A maybe more interesting question would be: What should you not do? 

Kinda sums it up.